Love Drug

 The deafening silence is driving u crazy, u cant take no more.
You scream out try to drown the quite around you, your voice gets caught in your throat, you start to choke. You reach out to the surface but nothingness surrounds you. You cant breathe no more. You wanna die.


It all comes back like shards of ice. A broken heart, blown in2 a million pieces....his indifference to your love, the coldness in his voice,ringing clear, when he said 'You don't matter to me'. The strut in his walk as he stalked off, leaving you with a bleeding heart.
Its driving you crazy, his rejection; you still cant seem to put your finger on where exactly did everything go wrong and why did he not want you in the way you wanted him. How could he not realize the intensity of your love and attraction for him, he simply refused to even recognize the signs.
You lay there, on your pillow, soakin with tears and testing its ability to muffle the sounds of your sobs as you try to wash away the sorrow and pain of it all.
You almost religiously follow the innocent funtime saying 'Wake up, survive, go to bed' for days on end and you dont see him even one day. Your almost certain you are over him and he cant never cause the same flutter in your heart he did earlier. You think you are ready to face him.
You see him, and all is lost - the tears are all in vain, and a stronger flutter grips your heart this time, making your mouth dry and chilling your spine. You dont know what to do. You are frozen on the spot and are almost gawking at him as your jaw touches the floor. Your mind then knocks you and then you shake that feeling off almost physically shaking yourself....
Its like drug additction, the more you want to let go, the more it holds on to you, claws you to stay on - as if the drug has come to life and is clinging on to you as if it needs to live off you. But the opposite is true, YOU live off the drug. The Drug is the hope for his love.The undying hope. You know its insane... but its gona stay on and its going to live inside you forever. Its either him or no one else...

or is it....???

You wake up feeling unnaturaly light and walk over to see him. He smiles at you; as though nothing happened and the exchange of words never took place. However, that wasn't the only seemingly unnatural thing. Your heart din't skip even a beat at the dazzling smile. The flutter was far from it.

{by a very dear friend, who has provided me with a gals point of view, but has requested anonymity for reasons unknown... friends if u like this note please shower in your comments.....this is a really heartbreaking note, one in no ways could be created by me..... coz the feelings seen in this note goo very deep n touch ur heart... making u feel the pain} THANK YOU

The FIrst CRUSH!

                Well,  as I was talking about Teen issues and stuff I would like to start my today’s topic with 'CRUSHES'. I know the next stage in life i was going to discuss about was Adulthood... but what the heck, it can wait as this is one thing which needs more lime light according to me.  In a teen agers lifetime he or she always faces this situation where they start liking a person with unmatchable bounds of love, they start imagining themselves with this loved one, Hand in hand, walking in the meadows, they even plan the names of their kids, where they are going to live, and what not crap, BUT! all this remains uncertain as they hardly gathering up enough courage to go and approach this person and convey their feelings to them. Only a select few spill the beans to their beloved, rest i guess stay happy with their so called imaginary lovers in their dreams as they dread getting no as an answer to their proposal. This no {according to me} is as Devastating as the END OF THE WORLD!, to them of-course.
                  If all they do gather enough courage other thoughts start evading our minds such as, "What if she likes someone else?", "What if she has a Boy friend?", "What if she stops talking to me after this?" and due to all these "what if's" the poor guy or gal again suffers a nervous breakdown{of a small kind} and ends up running back to his burrow. And yet again they end up confining their relationships with their loved ones to just their dreams. Never knowing what the answer on the other side would have been.
                  But i dont say this happens to everyone, some apply the "Nike" motto to their lives and "just do it". Now everyone has their own way of proposing their beloved, some do it on their birthdays as in most cases as they feel the reply from the opposite person cannot be negative as its their birthday, what happens next cannot be predicted as the chances remain 50-50. Other than this situations such as friendly outings, School Farewells, late night phone calls and the most stupid of them all text messages and social networking sites prove to be as a perfect stage for carrying out these great deeds. Till now the discussion has been only about the proposal. Well now comes the next part{n according to me the more off important one}. THE REPLY!
                  Well now i know that this part is all "mirch- masala" according to us but normally in 90% cases the reply is never given at the time of proposal, the girl normally asks for some time, as in days or weeks at times, which is said to be the most crucial time for the guys. Because if its going to be a yes then 'life is set BOSS!' but if its a no then its all tears for girls and BOOZE for boys. One never like to imagine that the latter might occur but anxiety does make us think otherwise. though we never might accept it. In this period boys normally keep on messaging romantic stuff to girls to express that they truly love them. Girls on the other hand are in two minds if they do not know this person well and have second thoughts about the relationship. This activity is carried out continually till the day arrives. The day of the decision. JUDGEMENT DAY!
                  Judgement day is by far the most dreaded day for teen agers, as it is, on this very day and date their fate is gonna be written, a day which is going to decide weather or not this person is gonna be theirs forever and after or NOT!. When this day arrives guys are normally too nervous go know about the decision and take the support of a friend who provides then emotional backing just incase its gonna be a no on the other side. the probability of a yes or a no are no more of ne value as the only response they expect is a YES!. And if it does turn out to be that way there are no bounds to happiness to that of the boy. Rest as we know is happily ever after. {im sorry i fail to provide the viewpoints of a gal as it dunno much about them}. But if its a no, the guy normally detaches himself from everyone for sometime, starts prefers solitude and listens to sad songs. He loses all interest in current affairs going in and around him and starts thinking over and over again about what went wrong. this goes on for some more time and as time heals everything he comes back to normal. But in his free time he is always reminded that once he like a girl and but he could never make her his....



{pleas comment, the above passage is from a boys point of view, i m sorry i could not do justice to how a girl thinks about such occurrences, i would be more than happy to post a girls point of view if helped.. please comment with your views}

Life..... Contd

             When we are in our teens we always dream about adulthood, let it be legally being allowed to booze {drink}, being permitted to get a drivers license along with their own vehicle, getting entry into all the places which once were just a distant dream :P. And in the end most important of all being seen as a ''Proper Grown UP!", what ever that meant when we would imagine such dumb stuff. but in India one thing i have noticed is that in you don't at all have to be an adult or a 'Major' to reap its benefits, coz these are only rules, and after all they are meant to be broken ;). Teens at a minor age of  say '13' start visiting the world of pubs and discos. As whats inside is hardly known to them{i would like to keep it that way}its a great adventure in the beginning. Kids start spending their pocket money to visit such places. The money taken from mumma on the pretext of visiting 'McDonalds' now goes into Sipping "Mcdowells". People maybe in double minds as to how can minors get admitted to such places. Well in India there are many devotees of Gandhi, or i might say all are devoted to him, not always for patriotic reasons but also as he is the most respected and expected breadwinner, i guess the picture must have become clear by now, as a 50rs currency note makes its way into the pockets of the doorman, he, without wasting any moment salutes the person in front of him, forget forbidding him from entering the pub{i guess one cannot ever imagine India without corruption, EVER!}. at this age kids normally dont dare to get their booze from wine shops as they mite get caught by some known person. anyways lets get back to being sober again :D
               Aah! least that i forget to mention, to top it all up, we would always dream about having a girlfriend beside us when we were in out Teens but, this mission normally gets accomplished by the time our school comes to an end for a lucky few{though not for all}, the seriousness of such relationships is confined to outings, romantic text messages, calls etc. And by this we and judge the magnitude of commitment in it!.{i only say this for most of the couples in this league, some nutcases are there who are really in love :) and ready to die for one another}. for the latter who fail to be a part of this league by scoring a gal-fren for themselves, there is always college for them{they like to think of it this way to keep themselves satisfied! :P}. These dudes normally do try real hard on gals but fail miserably as the opposite sex normally looks upon them in a totally different way, no where near to that of a prospective boyfriend. While these dudes imagine themselves romancing with their tight fit jeans gal-frenz, the latter thinks about BRO-mancing withe theses dudes on 'Rakshabandhan' day and getting expensive dark chocolates from them. This doubt is cleared within some days when the dude gathers up the courage to propose his beloved and in return is made aware of her intension's of making him a BRO.{hard-luck!}. Heart broken normally guys find recourse at "Bars" accompanied by their dear friends, they sip on some vodka or beer and try to forget their pains. As they say 'menn don't cry' they are left only with the option of letting this excess water out through some other outlet along with the beer (^_^).  Thus their distant dream of scoring a gal for themselves is shattered and they start dreading their lives and themselves for all stupid reasons possible{cant even blame then, afterall this was their first encounter with love}, they also promise never to love again{this "NEVER" period only lasting for some months}, but as they say time heals everything and with this they also go on with their lives.
                Well i do remember that i had to discuss about adulthood today but afterall im a teen ager and i can describe about it in the best manner possible as an am living it at the moment and this period is the best there is ever gonna be according to be and no other time in our lives can compete with all the fun and MASTI we have at this time because after this there is nothing in life but responsibilities which in no way according to me can be termed as FUNN! ....

{till next time.... pls comment and criticize.... if you like my work please follow me}

Some Random $#!T goin in my head......

           What is life?, well its a tough one....aint it,huh? DAT too for todays Generation.well people mite very well solve the big bang theory before they solve this one :P

           Some may call it a race where all you got to do is aim for the finish line, where at some point of time people whom we at the moment refer to as friends may well turn out to be our enemies or even worst "OUR COMPETITORS". 

           Due to all these things from the time we are born we find our selves with a knife hanging up our heads, within a short time our childhood breathes its last, marking the end our days where a mere "kiss on the cheek" from mumma would be considered as a big reward for attaining the first rank in class,during this age coming first in class held its own share of profits, you would be the teachers pet, if your rich your parents spoil u with all fancy gizmo's and stuff,if your from the middle-class  well a "dairymilk" at its best makes way to your tummy, and if your none of the above your parents hardly seem to recognize your achievements because as they say majority of the population in India is under the poverty line {which for obvious reasons we end up blaming the government for} and this illiteracy which due to the vicious cycle keeps on increasing{even as the government proclaims the opposite to be occurring}[anyways where were we, ya!] and we step into out teens. 
            During this period we end up cursing parents and siblings of our frenz, enemies, fellow classmates, for no obvious reasons at all{we think its cool, though its not (o_0)} we hardly have time for our parents, n when ever we are with them, the only thing we do is back answer them, heated arguments take place, in this period friends seem to be of more importance then our folks at home, being the class topper is a thing which now seems to be confined only to a bright few who by now we refer to as "The Class Geeks". Even parents seem not much bothered about their kids grades{We do Know its otherwise} as long as they are passing out even by a mark or 2. we start to build our so called ''WATT'' or respect in out school which we have inherited by watching movies such as VASTAV and ONCE UPON A TIME IN MUMBAI. We start picking up fights at random just to prove that we better than the latter for no specific reason at all. Our parents are called quiet a few times to school by our principle or better known as Princi" and we are made live witnesses to insults which they swallow for our sakes. if your the only kid, parents usually end up warning you to mend up your ways or els they warn you that 'boarding school' mate be their last resort for us. This period is the last stage of our childhood. towards the end of our teens many start taking interest in out opposite gendered mates{you will surely get the picture if u were from a convent boys school :D}, many hormonal changes are underway and we start growing facial hair and this marks the beginning of our manhood. Some even take a quick step to "VICE TOWN' and pick up a habit or two ranging anywhere between 'smoking' to "drinking" to '''contraband'''. forgot to mention people by now own their own cell phones and this begins the 'text generation' sms'in twitting facebook all at finga tips'. many get them confiscated at school showing them off, others are sly enough never to flaunt them.

In between many fights occur, some major,others just for the sake of fun. Many friends are lost in between this period, some due to change in Divisions, some due to fights and ego and others just because we seem to get bored of them and think we deserve better{we end up realizing our mistakes much later, when its too late to even repent for our mistakes}.


Next comes adultho...[heyy wait a min i guess this is enough for today, will surely continue,
if you like this blog please comment, criticism is widely accepted, will be waiting for the views 
of all ma readers]